flash forward.

today, i am at a coffeeshop. beside me is a group of four asian-american seniors. they are the first of such groups that i've ever seen. i suppose asian americans have been in america long enough for this not to be an anomaly, but it obviously is to me. it's inspiring, in a way --- i find myself this close to writing a retrospective about the unrelenting pressures of time, and how the landmarks of friendship and love have been changed by that irresistible movement, or maybe about the cultural space that asians occupy in present day american culture.

instead, i am going to talk about old people smells, because they are overpowering me right now and are tainting all of my happy nostalgic thoughts.

smell 1. the 50s.

i'm talking brut. and brill cream. and all sorts of other products proven to cause cancer and bleeding in rabbits.

smell 2. medicine.

i'm comfortable with the fact that old people are already past their usefulness and are waiting to die. why aren't they? stop trying to prolong the process. perhaps it's to cover up...

smell 3. decay.

"mom, you may not cook anymore but you might die and we need the recipes."

-old woman quoting her daughter.

this must the kind of conversation you make with your kids when you get old. i hope someone hits me in the face with a shovel when i turn 40.

*   *   *

the old occupy a strange place in american culture. in most cultures, age is experience, culture, nobility; in america, it is obsolescence. there are a lot of things that i enjoy about living here, but life in the fast lane is not really one of them.